1. You’re Attractive, Gorgeous, Sexy, Intelligent, Smart, Charming, Sophisticated, Fit, Kind and Generous. In fact you’re becoming more like me everyday!
2. Always start your day with a lot of S E X
S – SMILE
E – ENERGY
X – XCITEMENT so make S E X a daily habit, and you’ll always B SUCSEXFUL! in
LIFE.
3. Last nite I coudnt sleep. I wantd u warm against my skin. I wantd u on me. I wantd to feel u all over my body … but I coodnt find u! Where did I put my PYJAMAS?
4. really deeply wish tat u r here with me in my room, my bedlights r off & we get under the cover together.. 2 show u my glow in the dark watch!
5. Come here.
Take off ur pants and get on top of me….
Do your stuff until ur totally satisfied
Thats why I’m ur TOILET!
6. I only have SEX on days that begin with T: Thanksgiving. Tuesday. Thursday. Today. Tomorrow. Thaturday. thunday.. Tevery day!
7. How 2 satisfy a women = caress, excite, cuddle, fascinate, spoil, kiss, rub, tease, pamper, console, worship, respect & love.
How 2 satisfy a man = blow job!
8. How to impress a woman: hug + kiss her, compliment + love her, protect + listen + support her.
How to impress a man: Show up naked with beer!
9. Tell me, is it going in?… yeah … is it hurting? … ooh yeah … ouch its hurtin … Ok i wil put it in slowly … still hurtin … ahh yeh … den lets try d other shoe!
10. Last night I wantd u.
needed u so badly dat it hurt.
wanted to taste you.
I wanted you in me
so u could work ur magic on me …
but I couldnt find u.
u stupid …
PARACETAMOL!
11. From the moment I saw u, I wanted to be inside u, I love ur smell, the way ur tongue feels, the way u tighten and loosen mmmmmmmmmmmmm ………….. NEW SHOES!
12. I was nervous at first, it was big & long & went straight up, I had to try it… I eased myself onto it I liked it! I went up & down on it, I love escalators now!
13. Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill.
Check three friends.
If they’re OK, you’re it…
14. U picked me up, U put ur hands around my waist and U took off my top, then U put ur lips on mine. Thank Heavens I’m a bottle of PEPSI.
15. KISSING at the top,
HOLDING at the middle,
FIRE at the bottom!
=Cigarette!
16. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
17. I want to touch ur lips
taste ur tongue
smell ur breath
I love chocolate!
18. Put your
Hand
On my
Hand
& hold
My
Back
With ur
Other
Hand,
Touch ur Lips
With my Lips
&
Taste
How hot
I AM!
Enjoy ur tea!
19. What’s hairy on the outside and moist inside, begins with a ‘C’ ends with a ‘T’ and has U’ and ‘N’ in between?
Answer: ‘COCONUT’
20. What did the Dick say to the Condom? ‘Cover me!!! I’m going in…’
21. It goes in dry it comes out wet. The longer its in the stronger it gets. We can have it in bed just you and me…its not what you think – its a cup of tea!
22. At 1st a little nibble- a slow & temptin lick. I suck & munch my liquid lunch & than I swallow quick! How do u eat ur CADBURYS CREAM EGG?
23. Jelly Baby goes 2 the Dr & says “Dr I’ve got aids” Dr replys “U cant have aids ur a jelly Baby” Jelly Baby says “yes but Dr I’ve been sleepin wiv ALLSORTS!
24. He came at night,
explored my body,Naughty text messages
got on top of me,
touched me,
he bit, sucked, swallowed,
when he was satisfied,
he left,
I was hurt,
Damn … MOSQUITO !!!
25. I love the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh … and creates a creamy foamy liquid at it thrusts in and out, up and down … Can’t wait to brush my teeth!
TIP: only send naughty text messages to someone you know intimately!
Most of these naughty text messages are only appropriate for using with someone you know very well and someone who share your sense of humor!
Naughty text messages can be seen as offensive or dirty – so be careful! Be mindful when and to whom you are sending naughty text messages …
No comments:
Post a Comment